


just cant wait for love (to destroy us)

by jamesmarchant (orphan_account)



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Night Stands, Paranoia, Smut, vague mental health problems, vaguely Fake Chop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:33:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14736203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/jamesmarchant
Summary: In which James goes for a bar crawl and picks up a lot more than he intended to.





	just cant wait for love (to destroy us)

**Author's Note:**

> this thing is one big experiment so pls dont judge me if its bad  
> first attempt at smut, first real attempt at angsty stuff, probably totally ooc but hey, its somethin! also unbeta’d cuz i was just a little too embarrassed to ask my friends to read through smut for me alkjdf  
> but hey, still hope you enjoy

James is being watched.

He’s being watched more often than not if he really thinks about it - watched by the city, by the rest of the crew, by his family and his friends and the shadows that bite at his ankles when he walks down the street.

Yet, this time feels different. Less like he was being sized up for slaughter and more like he was being _observed,_ like a piece of art someone was trying to decipher the meaning of. Half of James wants to quip something about feeding his ego, and the other half is about ready to turn tail and bolt out of the bar until he reaches a padlocked door he can hide behind.

James does neither of those things, instead idly swirling the drink in his hand and trying not to make it too obvious as he snuck glances at the guy watching him from across the dim room.

He was attractive, and James swears he’s seen him somewhere before, but he ignores that little nagging feeling in the back of his mind. His hair was bleach blonde, skin pale, but with thick lined, bright tattoos up and down his arms that James could see because he was in a frankly illegally attractive tank top. James caught him dancing with some other people earlier in the night, but now he was sat with a booth with a couple people and seemed to be almost outright ignoring them to watch James instead.

James taps a rhythm against the polished wood of the bar, taps the same rhythm again, and doesn’t let himself smirk when blondie finally pushes up from his chair and stalks across the room.

He comes up to James’ right, and his tattoos are brighter up close, and he brings some kind of _energy_ with him that James wants to drink up, wants to get closer to and see why it is that just standing nearby makes him forget everyone else in the room -

“Hey,” blondie says casually, resting one forearm on the bar as he pulls up the nearest stool to sit by James, so far in his personal bubble that if he had any doubt of this guys intentions they were swept away.

“Hey,” James says back, finally looking up from the bar to get a clear look of the guy’s face. He’s got deep, warm brown eyes that crinkle when the guy smiles and James’ mouth goes dry at the sight of the man’s bright grin.

In the backseat of the taxi on the way to James’ apartment he learns what that smile tastes like - vodka and mint gum - and that blondie’s name is actually Aleks.

Aleks sighs easy when James unbuckles his seatbelt to scooch closer, runs one hand down Aleks’ chest and cups the other at the base of his skull while they kiss. James isn’t _quite_ drunk enough to pull the other into his lap while they’re in a moving car, but _damn_ he really wants to.

James learns a few more things in the ten minute taxi ride - that he never wants Aleks to stop touching him, and that Aleks seems to never want to stop touching James. He touched James like he was special, like he was something to be explored, and it’d been years since James considered himself worthy of that kind of curiosity - if he’d _ever_ considered himself worthy of it.

Still, Aleks stays wrapped around James’ waist even as he pays the taxi driver, and it’s _James’_ apartment but with the way Aleks pushes up against James’ chest and walks him backwards you’d think Aleks owned the whole damn complex. Part of James doesn’t want to be cowed so easily by a handsome smile and wandering hands, but Aleks’ fingertips dip briefly, teasingly just an inch under James’ waistband and he decides that he doesn’t really care that much.

They reach James’ door eventually, and Aleks stays in James’ space, but gives him just barely enough room to fumble to turn the key of one lock and then the second, all the while kissing up and back down James’ neck to make him shiver, though it was more a brush of lips and the occasional drag of teeth than anything else.

The quiet of James’ apartment settles in his ribs as soon as he gets the door closed and locked behind them, and for half a second thirty different worries clamber for James’ attention - that he doesn’t know why this guy chose James, that he doesn’t have any weapons for protection on him because he’s a _dumbass,_ that he has fucking _neighbors_ and he’s going to get a noise complaint for bringing home some guy at one am that he was on the road to getting fucked into the mattress by -

If Aleks caught on to the noise in James’ head he had a weird way of reacting to it, because instead of literally _anything else_ he steps forward, cups James’ face in his warm palms and presses them both back against the door.

Aleks kisses him, and it registers belatedly with James that Aleks is damn good at this.

James threads a hand into Aleks’ hair and tugs, getting a cut-off groan for his efforts as he opens his mouth to let Aleks’ tongue in. One of Aleks’ hands trails down from James’ cheek to his neck, resting where his pulse beats wildly.

James’ other hand catches on Aleks’ hip, pulls him forward until their fronts line up _perfectly,_ and they both cut off the kiss, Aleks hissing while James gasps. Aleks rocks his hips up experimentally, making James shudder as he slides a hand under Aleks’ tank top, brushes along his tense stomach and up to his ribs.

Aleks keeps rocking his hips as if it’s not making James’ brain short circuit, and he replaces the hand on James’ neck with his mouth, making James tug a little harder at Aleks’ hair and press his nails into Aleks’ side with every scratch of teeth along his throat.

“Bedroom,” Aleks says, muffled against the skin in front of him, and it isn’t a question but James nods anyways, brushes his fingers through Aleks’ hair one last time before he pushes forward, grabs Aleks’ wrist and pulls him up the stairs.

As soon as they breach the doorway of James’ room Aleks is pushing him back onto the bed, and James lets himself fall. Hands are immediately under his shirt, fingernails ghosting along his ribs and one hand continuing up until it reached his nipple, and Aleks palmed it roughly while he clambered up onto the bed, hovering over James as he got his legs on either side of James’ waist.

James reached up and cupped the back of Aleks’ neck, pulling him down for a kiss that ended up being more teeth and tongue than anything else, and James breath kept hitching with the movements of Aleks’ palms and nails and fingers against his chest.

They broke apart just long enough for Aleks to coax off James’ shirt before he pulled off his own, and the new amount of warm skin pressing up against James made his eyes flutter, made his breath quicken.

Aleks must have caught on, because he smirked and leaned forward to kiss James, then rocked his hips forward, aligning his crotch with James’ and bringing back to his attention how _achingly_ hard he was. He moaned into the kiss, scrabbling for a hold on Aleks’ hips as he worked a teasingly slow and hard rhythm against James’ cock through his jeans and boxers.

They stayed like that for entirely too long in James’ opinion, part of him lavishing in every trailing, teasing touch and another part vibrating out of his skull in excitement for whatever comes next.

Eventually James’ patience runs out, and he tugs a little harder at Aleks’ hips, fumbles at the button and zipper of his jeans until they're open and loose enough for him to dip his hands under the other’s boxers, one hand palming at his ass and the other rubbing along his hips and teasing lower, into the dark curls of Aleks’ groin.

Aleks makes a tiny, anticipatory noise at that, keeping his hips still for just a moment as he waits for James to take his cock out, and as soon as James has his palm around him Aleks rocks forward, testing the waters.

James runs his hand down Aleks’ cock and he shudders, but James’ palm was just barely slick from sweat - certainly not enough for them to keep going with that alone. He pulls back reluctantly, reaching out to his bedside table where a bottle of lube lay buried in the back of the drawer.

Aleks takes advantage of James being stretched out and preoccupied, leaning forward to kiss down the center of his chest until he reached James’ intact jeans, finally, blessedly popping the button and pulling down the zipper, tugging at his hips until he lifted them long enough for Aleks to tug the waistband down with his boxers until they came to rest low on his thighs. It left his cock to rest in the open atop his stomach, already a drip of precum on the tip and smearing on his belly.

James rested back on the mattress, bottle of lube in hand that he promptly dropped as soon as Aleks ducked forward to lick a stripe from James’ base to tip. His hand flew to Aleks’ hair as his hips bucked without warning, leaving the bottle of lube to bounce against the mattress, forgotten for the moment.

Aleks, the bastard, smirked at James reaction and pressed a hand onto James’ hip, keeping him still as he took the head of James’ cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue against the sensitive skin there.

James gasped at that, tangling his fingers tighter into Aleks’ hair as he kept teasing the head before pulling off with an obscene _pop,_ reaching up to grab the lube, getting some into his palm and then rubbing it between his hands to warm it. He palmed at James, then, his hand warm and slick against his shaft, his lips warm and slick against his inner thighs.

James tugged a little harder at Aleks’ hair, pulling his attention up so that James could cup his cheeks and bring him back up to James’ level. He went easy, keeping the slick hand running slow up and down his cock as he threw his legs back over James’ until he was back in his lap.

James kissed Aleks slow, pushing his hips up encouragingly with every stroke, and the pace was still agonizingly slow but James could live with it for the moment, given that Aleks had begun to work his hips with his own. That lasted for a moment, up until James finally reached out with one hand and pulled the other’s hips a little closer, until Aleks got the hint and pressed their cocks together, running his slick hand up and down the both of them.

Aleks bit his lip and whined at the feeling of it, finally getting some hard pressure on his own cock, and James went slack-jawed at the heat of Aleks’ dick against his own. It made him rock his hips a little faster, insistently until Aleks sped up to meet James’ rhythm.

James’ breath picked up, hitching at each pass over his the tip of his cock, Aleks’ hand slick and warm and tight, inching James closer and closer to the edge. He scratched at Aleks’ shoulders before one hand threaded back into Aleks’ hair, tugging hard in warning once their pace picked up enough that James knew he was a goner.

Aleks kept up the rhythm, leaning forward to kiss James and swallow the crawling moans coming from his throat, all the way until James’ spine went tight as a wire and he tossed his head back, clapping a hand over his mouth to cover the cry he let out at finally falling off the cliff Aleks had brought him to.

Aleks bit down on James’ exposed neck, no doubt leaving bruises as he continued to rock his hips and stroke their cocks, chasing his own release. James whimpered behind his palm at the overstimulation of it, until he took his hand away from his mouth, batting Aleks’ hand away from their cocks and stroking Aleks himself.

Aleks breaths got a touch heavier, a touch more desperate once James’ hand was firmly around him, tugging hard and fast so James could watch Aleks’ mouth drop open and stay there, watch as he clenched his eyes and ducked his head to rest in the junction of James’ neck and shoulder. James teased Aleks’ tip with his thumb, tightened around the base, tilted his head to bite and suck right under his ear, and then Aleks shuddered and whined, open-mouthed against James’ shoulder as he came. The hot cum spilled over James’ hand, but he didn’t stop sliding up and down Aleks until he was huffing little cries of overstimulation like James had been moments earlier.

Aleks lifted his head, dropping his forehead to meet with James’, their breaths mingling as they both gasped desperately. James let his fingers linger teasingly on Aleks’ softening dick for just long enough to be noticed before he pulled his hand away, up to his mouth where he licked the cum away, and Aleks’ pupils had been blown wide the whole night but at that sight they seemed to go just a hair’s width wider.

That made James attempt a smug smirk, but once Aleks leaned forward to kiss him, he couldn’t hold back a wide, genuine, star-struck grin.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, chest-to-chest with Aleks above James, his arms wound around James’ shoulders while James’ hands brushed along Aleks’ hips and back. Aleks kept his forehead against James’ and for the time being they shared the air.

Eventually, James pulls back just an inch, reaching over to his bedside table for a tissue to wipe his own cum off his stomach with a tiny grimace that Aleks huffed a laugh at. They still need a shower, but once his stomach is clean Aleks immediately slides down, laying flat atop James with his head on James’ chest, and James decides easily that they can deal with cleaning up properly in the morning.

It was quiet, then. Truly quiet, a rarity for a city like LA. Silence usually hung heavy in James’ ears, weighing him down with something he’d call _‘nerves’_ instead of _‘paranoia’_.

But, tonight, watching through lidded eyes as Aleks’ head rises and falls with James’ breathing, and how Aleks’ back expands and contracts with his own breaths, the quiet felt like a blanket that they were a little too sweaty and tired to physically bring over their bodies. Soft, encompassing, warm.

James lifts his head just a touch, presses his nose into Aleks’ blonde locs and lets his lungs fill with the familiar smell of Aleks’ shampoo and cologne - a smell James has to call _‘familiar’_ so that he won’t call it _‘home’_.

“How many times are we gonna do this, Aleks?” James whispers into Aleks’ hair, the words feeling like rocks tumbling out of his mouth.

Aleks shifts in James’ arms, brings in a deep breath and then lets it go. A curious hand reaches out and brushes along James’ chest, Aleks’ pale fingers brushing at tanned skin, then reaching out and trailing the red lines of James’ tattoos on his arm. The action was familiar, warm, and when Aleks’ eyes met James’ they were familiar and warm, too.

For just a moment, and if James were honest - for years, the only warmth in that room was from Aleks. From his eyes, his palms, his fingertips - as if somewhere along the line James’ house had frozen over and taken James with it until Aleks blew through like a tropical wind and melted the frost clinging to the windows and door knobs.

“As many times as it takes until we can do this without three bottles of vodka between us.” Aleks says, entirely too blunt and honest, and it makes James wonder if it’s actually what Aleks said or if it’s just what he wanted to hear.

Either way, Aleks looks up at James and says words that James certainly should try and pin down, but as soon as Aleks’ mouth closes there’s a tiny, selfish part of James that wants to let the words float. It whispers to James at the base of his skull that for once he can hear what he wants to hear, that he can deal with picking up whatever actually happened off the floor in the morning like he always does.

James should know that he couldn’t hide anything from Aleks if he tried, and he doesn’t have the energy to even try tonight so Aleks sees right through him, sees how he maybe heard or maybe didn’t and will maybe reply or maybe wont.

Aleks sees, and huffs something that would have been a laugh if it wasn’t so hollow. He hangs his head low until it comes to rest back on James’ chest, and then he shifts the rest of his body so that it’s more comfortably lined up with James’.

So, it’s gonna be one of those nights. Not one where he leaves, picks up his clothes and calls an uber and doesn’t look James in the eyes the whole next day at the warehouse. Not one of the nights where he stays but with a rift like the ocean between them, where he lays on the far edge of the bed and still doesn’t look James in the eye the whole next day.

No, here’s going to be the rarest night of them all, where Aleks _stays_ . Doesn’t just stay in the city, doesn’t just stay in the house, doesn’t just stay on the bed, but really _stays,_ and that's really the only word James has to describe it.

The warmth in his eyes _stays_ and the hand resting like a reminder on James’ chest _stays_ and the easy breathing James can only ever seem to do when Aleks is near _stays._

When Aleks stays the night there’s still a hesitation, like if they touch what happened minutes earlier then it would shatter like a work of glass art that had a fault in it’s making - that was only barely holding itself together.

When Aleks _stays,_ and can look James in the eye, and can brush his fingertips along James’ ribs like he owns them because he _does_ -

Well, when Aleks _stays_ is James’ favorite nights. When he can tell himself they’re pretending but knows that every look is genuine, every deep sigh truly is them exhaling the ache that settles in their lungs when they’re apart for too long.

“James,” Aleks says, reaching a hand up to blindly cup James’ scruffy cheek, “Stop thinking so hard,” his thumb rubs underneath James’ eye and his words are gentle but firm, like he’s asking James to come home, and in many ways he _is,_ “Go to sleep.”

James’ eyes had started to sting and blur from staring wide open at the ceiling without James realizing it, but closing them felt just a little wrong like it always does.

The voice in the far back corner of James’ skull comes back, then. In the darkness it whispers that anything could happen while he slept, that he should sit up and make sure Aleks kept breathing, that he should sit up and ask Aleks what he really said -

“Dude, I mean it.” Aleks says, just a little louder, like he knows he has to talk over the voice. Aleks’ hand trails from James’ cheek to his neck, resting where his pulse beats slow, and James wonders if Aleks has a voice in the corner of his mind, too - but if he’s honest, he knows the answer to that question.

James knows, and Aleks knows, and somehow that makes the voice quiet down until it’s silent completely. James can finally let Aleks’ warmth in completely, then, and it floods his ribs, weighs him down until he believes that he can actually fall asleep.

Aleks presses his forehead a little harder into the little place between James’ shoulder and neck, and the warmth relaxes James, and he counts as it unwinds his muscles one by one until he drifts to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> like i said, this was an experiment so pls do let me know what you think! and again this was unbeta’d so if you noticed anything iffy pls let me know that too ;o;
> 
> im @jamesmarchant on tumblr, come say hi!  
> hope you enjoyed <3


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